One of my coaching colleagues has a very clever business card that says in big bold print: “I HAVE QUESTIONS, YOU HAVE ANSWERS.” But, most of us would ask, aren’t people who come for coaching the ones who are asking the questions? And aren’t coaches supposed to be the answer people?
Yes and No.
Yes, most people do come to coaching with questions about their lives. But coaches do not have the answers. Instead, coaches use provacative open-ended QUESTIONS that invite clients to look inside themselves into places that are familiar but that they may see with new eyes and into places they may not have looked before.
Stimlulating questions like “What do you long for?” or “When do you feel most alive?” or “Who are you when you stop doing?” are like keys that can open new doors of discovery, insight and awareness. In the coaching world, such questions are called POWERFUL QUESTIONS. Powerful questions tend to stop us in our tracks. They invite reflection. They send us somewhere, to a particular “cave” to explore. As we look around this cave, flashlight in hand, we may discover things we never knew were there.
In our everyday lives, we are not used to being asked such thought-provoking questions! We are more accustomed to reporting what we know or what we have already thought about. The coaching relationship however, is characterized by questions that will point to a deeper, richer and ultimately more fulfilling life. Although powerful questions may not result in immediate answers, they invite us to live the questions in a different way. If we are to grow, we must be willing to ask penetrating questions of our deepest self.
I’d like to leave you now, with a powerful question to ponder. I came across this particular question last week while reading Open the Door, by one of my favorite authors, Joyce Rupp. Here’s what she asked: “What is the central question of your life right now?” No-one had ever asked me this intriguing question before, so I decided to take it on as a reflective challenge. It really made me think and to some degree I’m still pondering. From what I’ve crafted so far, my central question right now goes something like this: “How do I live with integrity and joy even when the going gets tough?” Although it’s not always easy, I am doing my best to live well into this question.
How might YOU have answered? What is the central question of your life right now?