In the initial stages of grief, we often experience a wide array of physical and emotional effects. Then, as our grief subsides, we begin to recuperate from the pain and accept that we must somehow “get on with life”. This is when most of us are ready to begin remembering. Taking steps to remember a loved one is an essential part of healing in the grief process. J William Worden, author, hospice
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“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” — New International Version Bible Matthew 7:3 On a sunny August day, you see your shadow. The shadow you see is a reflection of your physical body and very visible. But not all shadows are so easy to see. There’s another shadow within us that reflects our personality. This shadow can be elusive and hard to
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“Be Yourself”, says Henri Nouwen, in today’s daily Bread for the Journey reflection. Wise and comforting advice for us all! “Often we want to be somewhere other than where we are, or even to be someone other than who we are. We tend to compare ourselves constantly with others and wonder why we are not as rich, as intelligent, as simple, as generous, or as saintly as they are. Such comparisons make us feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous. It is very
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Trust is built one marble at a time (Dr. Brene Brown) How you do you know you can trust someone? How do you know you can trust yourself? I’m pretty sure most if not all of us have struggled with trust at numerous points in our personal or professional lives. I certainly have. For example, I struggle with trusting others when I share something in confidence with a “friend”, only to later discover that this person shared my information with others.
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There is nothing that cannot be forgiven, and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness. When you can see that we are all bound to one another—whether by birth, by circumstance, or simply by our shared humanity—then you will know this to be true. (Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu) When you think of your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, what one word comes to mind? In their book, The Book of Forgiving; The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our
Read more →The great paradox of life is that those who lose their lives will gain them. This paradox becomes visible in very ordinary situations. If we cling to our friends, we may lose them, but when we are non-possessive in our relationships, we will make many friends. When fame is what we seek and desire, it often vanishes as soon as we acquire it, but when we have no need to be known, we might be remembered long after
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Criticism and blame can be hard to take, especially when we feel wrongly attacked, or unfairly picked on. When we’re on the receiving end, it’s easy to get defensive and feel like striking back. Even when we feel like striking back, we can choose to respond in ways that will deescalate rather than intensify the tension. We can listen differently. We can apologize for the part of the criticism that we can understand or agree with. We can clarify our own position– which
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Life structures can help us reach our goals and become the person we want to be. Life structures come in all shapes and sizes, and the number of them we can create is unlimited. An exercise class is a life structure that helps maintain fitness. A shopping list is a life structure that helps ensure a shopping experience guided by needs, not wants. A weekly housekeeper or designated “cleaning day” is a life structure that helps eliminate mess. A menu plan is a
Read more →It’s important to find a healthy balance between doing what we think we need to do, and being the kind of person we want to be. Most of us tend to focus more at our doing than at our being. We spend our lives trying to make something of ourselves, trying to have an impact, trying to be reasonably successful in this world. We work hard to accomplish our goals and teach our children to do the same. Our culture’s ethos of achievement feeds this focus,
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