Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging. (Brene Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W.)
Brene Brown, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, has written several books that continue to be great resources for many of my coaching clients. Her concept of wholehearted living as developed in her book, The Gifts Of Imperfection, has been particularly helpful. Here, she makes it clear that wholehearted living is not something we accomplish or aquire and then check off our list. Instead, she says, it is a process, “the journey of a lifetime”.
Brown identifies ten guideposts that can provide structure and direction for this wholehearted journey. She devotes one chapter to each guidepost and each chapter is filled with honest storytelling, humor and very practical ideas about deliberate choices we can make.
GUIDEPOST #1
Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think
GUIDEPOST #2
Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism
GUIDEPOST #3
Cultivating a Resilient Spirit and Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
GUIDEPOST #4
Cultivating Gratitude and Joy and Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark
GUIDEPOST #5
Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith and Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
GUIDEPOST #6
Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go of Comparison
Guidepost #7
Cultivating Play and Rest and Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth
GUIDEPOST #8
Cultivating Calm and Stillness and Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
GUIDEPOST #9
Cultivating Meaningful Work and Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed-To”
GUIDEPOST #10
Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance and Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”
Each guidepost involves the work of cultivating daily practices and letting go of things that hold us back. Each guidepost also involves movement—moving away from, or “shedding” things that are in our way, and moving towards, or “stepping into” something new.
Take a moment to examine your own life in light of the guideposts above. What do you most need to cultivate? Let go of? What will be your first step in this direction?