The great paradox of life is that those who lose their lives will gain them. This paradox becomes visible in very ordinary situations. If we cling to our friends, we may lose them, but when we are non-possessive in our relationships, we will make many friends. When fame is what we seek and desire, it often vanishes as soon as we acquire it, but when we have no need to be known, we might be remembered long after our deaths. When we want to be in the center, we easily end up on the margins, but when we are free enough to be wherever we must be, we find ourselves often in the center. Giving away our lives for others is the greatest of all human arts. This will gain us our lives. (from Henri Nouwen’s Bread for the Journey)
These wise words about the great paradox of life were waiting in my email inbox this morning. As a subscriber to Bread for the Journey, I receive a free daily email reflection from the Henri Nouwen Society. Since Henri Nouwen is one of my very favorite authors, Bread for the Journey is a great way for me to get a daily dose of him. These free daily email reflections are a very important life structure for me. They remind me of my true identity and help keep me centered and focused on what is important to me.
Today’s daily reflection, for example, prompted me to pause for a few moments and ask a number of self-reflective questions that have been simmering on the back burners of my mind all day. Questions like these:
- In what ways might I be clinging to my friends or family members?
- What does it mean for me to be non-possessive in my relationships?
- In what ways might I be seeking to bring attention to myself?
- In what ways am I “not free” to be wherever I must be in the moment?
- What does it mean to “lose” my life?
As I’ve pondered these questions while going about the activities of my day, I’ve noticed their impact on what I am paying attention to, and how I have been experiencing this day. The questions have helped me stay centered and focused on what is important to me.
We all need life structures that can help keep us focused and reflective about the lives we are living. Henri Nouwen’s Bread for the Journey is one of mine. How about you? Do you have a life structure that helps keep you centered? If not, are you willing to create and commit to something new?